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Joke of the Day

"I think that reddit's lockdown was an entirely democratic process... achieved completely by popular voat"

"What's black and never works? DECAF YOU RACIST FUCK"

"Why do people nickname Cersei's kids after sandwich meats? Because they're both in bread"

"I once saw a real bear in the wild and said ""Aww, look at him!"" What I'm saying is, don't turn to me for practical thinking in an emergency."

"No, you're not fat, you're just easy to see."

"I watched my dog chase his tail in circles for ten minutes. It amazed me how stupid and easily entertained he was. Then I realized I had just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes."

"My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day... Not really relaxing, as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out, ""60 Watts - Made in China."""

"What do you call an Irish basketball player with a sore back? Hunch-black of Notre Dame"

"Sex is like candy... You can't give it to little girls without people thinking you're a pedophile"

"I remember when ""Something's eating up data."" meant that guy from Star Trek was deeply troubled."