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Joke of the Day

"They said I'd never overcome my addiction to Phil Collins. &#x2669; But take a look at me nooooow &#x2669;"

"Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die."

"Have you heard about the homeless assassin? Well... I don't know anything for sure. But I heard he's a roofless killer!"

"Jared from Subway should be happy... ... He will have a life time supply of foot-longs where he's going."

"What do you call a cellphone company that uses nuclear power? Cher-Mobile"

"Big deal, McDonalds. We're all here for a limited time only."

"Saw this stunning girl at a bar last night. I got her a drink, walked over to her and then felt my knees go weak and my stomach turn to butterflies. Turns out that I spiked the wrong drink by mistake."

"My friend wrote a joke on an egg and gave it to me to share with others. But I forgot and spoiled it."

"How many ears does Spock have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear."

"I just long for a relationship with someone who doesn't make me feel like I'm missing out on something cool on television or the internet."