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Joke of the Day

"Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning."

"What disease do basement dweller mosquitos give you? M'laria"

"Why should you feel bad for the gay homeless population? Because they don't have any closets to come out of"

"A blonde has a BS in Science... Bullshit, isn't it?"

"Tom got a backache from working as a seer. He's got the hunch."

"What's the difference between a Zippo and a hippo ? Ones a little lighter"

"If I were a waitress, I'd be planting fake engagement rings in every girl's food, just to see their boyfriends panic."

"Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench A man walks up in a trenchcoat and flashes them. The first lady has a stroke, the second lady couldn't quite reach."

"Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? Because he thought it was a delivery service."

"A man walks into hospital ""What's with Jane ?"" ""It doesn't look good"" ""Yeah, I know, I'm asking about her health"""