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Joke of the Day

"My boss keeps asking me to cut my hair. I keep telling him it is part of my religion I worship the Metal Gods. Edit: TL;DR 666"

"Why do clumsy farmers make awesome DJ's? cause they're always dropping beets"

"There are a lot of female hormones in beer. When I drink five bottles I also can't drive a car and start behaving illogically."

"So I saw one of those ""Drink for Pink"" labels on a bottle of juice... Sounds like Georgia Tech's hookup strategy."

"Thursday doesn't even count as a day, it's just the thing that's blocking Friday..."

"If you didn't take a selfie at the gym, were you really there?"

"What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass? An investigator."

"Who are the worlds fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 88 stories in 7 seconds"

"How did the Roman cut his hair? Caesar"

"Whenever one door closes, another opens. ..perhaps the one who built the house didn't do a good job."