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Joke of the Day

"I hear you've been tracing your ancestors on the internet... Yes - and it's a mammoth task!"

"So I went to grad school and finished my doctorate... I got my doctorate in fighting games and completed a masters in traditional line dancing. My degree is called the Shoryucan-can"

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter."

"How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!"

"What is Hilary Clintons favorite part about going to the beach? Her Flip-Flops."

"A Chinese man goes to the doctor because of failing eyesight. DR. ""Mr. wong it looks like you have a cataract."" Mr. Wong "" No no I drive Rincon."""

"Me: *gets in pool* Come on in. 4-year-old: No, there might be sharks. Me: 4: Me: 4: Me: *gets out of pool*"

"I remember last year... It's like it was yesterday."

"I totally had gender with a girl. #thesaurus"

"Why did the console cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side."