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Joke of the Day

"If life gives you melons... Check for dyslexia"

"What do you call a statue holding some Mouthwash? A gargoyle!"

"My wife doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. This is all I'm spending for her Christmas present. So far she's getting a McChicken."

"I dont know why people are disappointed when they find out a celebrity crush is married.As if that was their only obstacle to being together"

"I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it."

"They say all of this started because Eve ate an apple. Clearly, the book was altered. Everyone knows it had to be chocolate."

"Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? *Everywhere*"

"An Italian engineer was kidnapped in Nigeria. Demands were sent via email to his family, but they just got deleted as spam."

"Why do drugs for small dogs have to be tested on larger ones first? All canine drugs must be lab tested before their public release."

"Superman: I'm faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive- Batman: I fight a penguin and this really persistent clown"