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Joke of the Day

"""I put on pants for nothing"" - my 10 yo after she got dressed and her soccer game was cancelled. Someone set up her Twitter account."

"Why don't catholics wear condoms? Because little boys can't get pregnant."

"A one-liner a came up with. I recently bought a superconducting electric heater... I was not impressed!"

"What did the mountain say to the desert? ""you're hot"""

"Why'd the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff? Tequila"

"Why is it called PMS? Because mad cow disease was taken."

"Whose the most vague person in the Military ? General Direction."

"""hey mister can i pet your dog?"" ""sure kid"" ""what kind is he?"" ""that there's a pure beef vienna son careful don't get mustard on your shirt"""

"There are two types of people in the world: Those that can extrapolate from imperfect data"

"A man walks into a bar... ...and has a concussion."