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Joke of the Day

"""hey mister can i pet your dog?"" ""sure kid"" ""what kind is he?"" ""that there's a pure beef vienna son careful don't get mustard on your shirt"""

Next Joke
 
"One of My Ex's was absolutely beautiful. But, it didn't workout because all she wanted to do was SWING. I miss third grade."
"I got my son a stripper for his birthday. My wife wasn't impressed, but it's not every day he turns 4."
"I was in the supermarket and I thought I saw my name on a loaf of bread. I looked again and it said ""thick cut""."
"Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common? A: They're intended for children but it's the men who usually end up playing with them."
"I was about make a Sodium Joke... But Na"
"I am a bit disappointed by the slow cooker I got for Christmas I was hoping for a fast maid"
"*leaning seductively, slowly dragging fingertip across countertop* Me: how much for the entire case? Donut shop clerk: ma'am, $8.99 a dozen"
"I wish my laundry was more like protein... so it would fold itself!"
"Why don't prison inmates just use liquid soap?"