180881

Joke of the Day

"To all newly married guys..... If you screw up Valentine's Day, you'll be celebrating Palm Sunday for a long time."

"A man's wife asks him: ""Have you ever considered having a threesome with me for a change?"" ""To be honest, having twosomes with you would be already be a change"""

"What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!"

"Roses are red Violets are blue Stop clicking your pen when you talk to me Kevin I swear I will murder your face with my tape dispenser"

"How do you annoy a computer person with a problem? Never mind, I figured it out."

"A mexican magician says to the audience he will dissapear on the count if 3 Uno...dos...*poof* He disappeared without a tres"

"Virgins everywhere are fucking nowhere."

"""My nose is going to grow now"" said Pinocchio, rending a paradoxical black hole in the fabric of space-time."

"How do you tell a good joke on reddit? Wash it up over and over again until you get gold!"

"*helps wife get toddler in his high chair* wife: That's a new shirt, let's put a bib on you me [wearing a bib] This is ridiculous"