180807

Joke of the Day

"Pulling out a winter coat and going through the pockets to find out who I was 8 months ago."

"They say that American beer is like having sex on a canoe. It's fucking close to water."

"A soviet soldier asks a man his opinion of the party. The man nervously replies ""the same as yours comrade"" The soldier then arrests him for sedition."

"Bill Clinton is so exited about the possibility of being in the White house again, He too has started wearing a hat on the campaign trail. It says : Make America fellate again."

"if you have 1 cricket ball in 1 hand and another cricket ball in the other, what do you have? 1 very large cricket"

"How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb? One. He just puts it in the socket and lets the world turn around him."

"Until I had kids I didn't realize that ""bouncing off the walls"" was actually a literal statement."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I don't jelly my cock down a bitches throat."

"What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost? That's just what I kneaded!"

"They say there's safety in numbers... Tell that to the 6 million Jews. ~ Jimmy Carr."