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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between politics and professional wrestling?.. In professional wrestling they know what they are doing."

"Me *about to get hit by a bus* OH SHIT I'M NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER"

"The biggest problem with two-faced people is, never knowing which face to slap first."

"Wireless Internet is like Sex You still want it, even if it's unprotected and in a public place."

"I hope my tombstone reads: Matrixed 9 out of 10 bullets."

"A cicada crawled up my butt while I was sleeping last night. I'm not worried though. It'll come out in 13 years."

"My dad on cheese Me talking to my sister: Me: don't you think you'll get constipated with all that cheese Dad: I don't think she'll give a shit"

"The FDA is banning trans fats because they're bad for you... but OJ has actually killed people!"

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye 'maighty"

"Do you know why you should never boil vegetables? Because the wheelchair might rust"