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Joke of the Day

"Until I had kids I didn't realize that ""bouncing off the walls"" was actually a literal statement."

"Why does the swimming pool get laid every night? Because he makes all the ladies wet."

"What's the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle."

"Which is the quickest way to make someone lose? The game."

"I accidentally answered the phone with my last name and got promoted to homicide detective"

"I don't understand why the Catholic Church is so against gay pride After all, their central figure was nailed by four Roman guys."

"Why did Brazil lose the World Cup? Weak back."

"What's a orphans favorite ice cream flavor? Banana Foster"

"Wow, your teeth are white. Thanks. I'm just curious, what color were you expecting?"

"Judge: Your first marriage was terminated by death? A: Yes by death. Judge: And by whose death was it terminated?"