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Joke of the Day
"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being dark."
Next Joke
"I hope I dont die on 9/11. ""He died on 9/11? His sacrifice wont be forgotten."" ""No, 9/11/27. He was checking favs in the shower and fell."""
"My girlfriend just text me, 'thespacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative' Anybody know what 'ternative' means?"
"What do you get when you put a woman's face on a $10 bill? $2.23 in change."
"My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo."
"Damn girl, are you a Unix based printer? Because my lp0 is on fire!"
"If you work for Samsung.. does that make you a Guardian of the Galaxy?"
"YouTube: hey we saw u watched a video about a thing Me: great, would it be possible to fill my entire feed with that thing, forever?"
"My small child told me his opinion on politics and I disowned him for being a nerd"
"They say you should play dead if a bear attacks you. That shouldn't be that hard once he snaps your torso in half."