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Joke of the Day

"I went to the library and asked if they had the book about men with tiny penises. She said ""I don't think it's in yet"" I said ""Yes, that's the one"""

"A Guy Walks Into A Bar........ Wait For It........ ""Ouch"""

"Did anyone ever find out who let the dogs out?"

"I was going to take another trip to the pencil museum but decided it was pointless."

"[Flight Attendant]: Would you like some headphones? [Passenger]: Yes please, but how'd you know my name was Phones?"

"""welcom to salad shop do u want a salad"" yes ""do u want chicken on it"" yes ""do u want bread on the side"" r u just selling unmade sandwiches"

"[God creating the octopus] Idk, maybe make it look like the time I tried to cram the old pool noddles into a trash bag."

"A man runs into a bar... A man runs into a bar, and demands to the barkeep: ""Quick! How tall do penguins grow?"" ""About two foot sir"" replies the bartender ""Shit. I've just run over a nun."""

"Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?...He was already taking out a tooth"

"""I think we should feel other people."" (Blind couple breaking up.)"