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Joke of the Day

"Q. How do you know a blonde has been using a dishwasher? A.It's cloged up with paper plates."

"My dad told me that no one Really needs Heroin in thier Life I think my dad is sexist"

"How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb? Find out next time, on Dragonball Z!!!"

"What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford? I did not have textual relations with that woman."

"If I ever get arrested I am going to ask for a status update instead of a phone call."

"New children's book I'm working on: ""Nobody poops but you, you disgusting little freak""."

"How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A Brazilian!"

"Why do firemen have bigger balls than policemen? Because they sell more tickets!"

"Why is it called ""Alien vs Predator""? Isn't predator an alien too? They should've just called it ""Some Aliens"""

"Listen, I'll let you borrow any Disney movie I've got except for one. I'm never gonna give you Zootopia. I'm a fucking furry. *Gotcha!*"