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Joke of the Day

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he saw a dolphin caught in a net? ""It's not a too-nah!"""

"Why did ISIS invade Antarctica? They saw a documentary about penguins and thought the continent was full of devout Islamic women."

"The best part of being lactose intolerant is the cure for constipation is cheese."

"What does Batman do on Father's Day? He oh..."

"What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."

"I can't stand Freud... him and his motherfucking complex."

"How do you find a blind man at a nudist colony? It's not hard"

"One of these days you'll see the real me. Probably next week. I'm almost out of concealer."

"He who goes to sleep face down... Crack up."

"So I heard that back in the day Hammurabi was actually Jewish... yea, they actually called him Hammurabbi. ^badum ^tsssssss ^^^please ^^^^don't ^^^^^hurt ^^^^^^me"