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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who took his suppositories orally? He said, ""For all the good these are doing me, I may as well shove 'em up my ass!"""

"Did you hear they recently opened a bar on the moon? The cocktails are great, but it has no atmosphere."

"What do you call a space pub filled with white chicks? The Mos Eisley can't even."

"Why can't Mexicans cross the border in three's? Because there's no TRESpassing"

"The 4 Stages of Going Out Drinking: 1. Why do I do this to myself 2. This isn't so bad 3. WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN 4. Why do I do this to myself"

"Forgot your password? Hint: your cat's name ~ a crazy cat lady's worst nightmare"

"How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution."

"Congratulations on having your 2nd kid. But aren't you supposed to learn from your past mistakes?"

"From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks? You. Why I oughta...! Edit: Wow, thanks for all the love. My son is quite the character and he really caught me off guard with this!"

"Why did Paul Walker cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt. (I'm sorry)"