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Joke of the Day

"Scientist released new findings proving that there are now only seven planets in our solar system after I destroyed Uranus."

"My son has just earned his first boy scout award for 'video gaming'. I guess the next ones will be for 'social ineptitude' & 'pale skin'."

"I hate tacos. -Said no Juan ever"

"Burning love What kind of erection does a burn victim get? Firewood."

"I have a recurring dream where I divide 10 by 3."

"I used to have black friends. Until my dad sold them all."

"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it."

"There are 2 types of people in the world: Thise who think they are superior to everyone else And inferior people"

"ROOMMATE: Big date later? ME: [combs hair] Yes R: Where? M: [fixes tie] The woods R: Is it with a bear again? M: [dabs honey behind ears] No"

"Why did the hipsters die of dehydration? They stayed away from the mainstream."