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Joke of the Day

"Last year for Christmas I got a sweater ,for this year I would prefer a squirter or a moaner ."

"If your mom calls you a son of a bitch, you might be a redneck."

"A man got arrested for assaulting someone with a defibrillator. The victim said that he was gonna press charges."

"I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco."

"Man l: ""I got my wife a VCP for her birthday"" Man 2: ""Don't you mean a VCR?"" Man 1: ""No a VCP . . . Very Cheap Present!"""

"In Soviet Russia... Light turns you on..."

"Why did Darth Maul jack off into a piece of fruit? Because the sith always comes in pears"

"Tried to change my password to Twilight... ...but got an error message saying please re-enter as this contains too many useless characters :("

"I took my girlfriend to a baseball game. I kissed her between every strike.... and she kissed me between the balls."

"We only cook with fresh, local ingredients so tonight we're grilling our neighbor's cat."