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Joke of the Day
"What does Happy Meal and a lonely girl have in common? They both come with a toy in the box."
Next Joke
"What did the bull-fighter say to the upset door? What's the matador?"
"What is Fetty Wap's favorite time? 5:38 PM."
"ad for letuce: do u- hey do u ever wish u coud eat water"
"I stepped on two raccoons today, but I'm just gonna play it cool and wear them as slippers for the rest of my life."
"I want this Twitter account to outlive me by 100 years. I want my grandchildren to read my Tweets and say, ""Holy fuck. She was so weird."""
"I thought the thieves stealing my dinner was bad But this one takes the cake"
"Did you hear about the joke about the broken pencil? Well, there-- Nevermind, it's pointless."
"Told this girl to text me when she got home ... I think she's homeless"
"Where do elephants keep their reproductive organs? On their feet because when they step on you, you're fucked."