180199

Joke of the Day

"Sad that 25 years ago Homer Simpson seemed like a looser in American culture and now it's like: ""Whoa...that guy has a job AND owns a home?"""

"What's the worst thing you can hear after giving Willie Nelson a bj? I'm not Willie Nelson."

"[Gets down on one knee] We can save $7.99 a month if we share a single Netflix account."

"What's the difference between an Electrician and someone who's high? The electrician knows where the ground is."

"When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $4.95 a minute."

"What is a lesbian's favourite Liam Neeson film? Snatch"

"Me: ""There are so many exotic sounding flavours these days. I just can't resist-"" Doctor: ""YOU NEED TO STOP DRINKING SHAMPOO!"""

"I regret buying that straight jacket. Thought it would look good on me but I just can't pull it off."

"An 8 year old just asked me why people in electric cars don't get electrocuted when it rains and now we're checking Google"

"Life is like art done in chalk, beautiful but temporary, enjoy it while possible."