78550

Joke of the Day

"The longest Joke in the world... Is very long."

"Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic? Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower."

"[dropping kids off at school] ME: Ok, learn a lot today KIDS: But school doesn't start for another week ME: *speeding off* GOOD LUCK"

"I think my friend might be gay... His dick tastes like shit."

"After a few days without my phone, I've learned what's really important in life. My phone."

"My doctor told me I needed to lose some weight. So I cut off my leg."

"Coworker: Man, it's brutally cold outside! Me: Yes, very weather, much winter."

"Why did Russia sign the non-aggression pact with NazI Germany? They were Stalin for time."

"Why doesn't Aaron want to get out of the water, even though he is hydrophobic? Because he enjoys living in denial."

"I think my vibrator has Parkinson's."