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Joke of the Day

"My Muslim girlfriend broke up with me the other day. She'll come to regret it. She just doesn't know what jihad."

"Did you know how they found out that Dale Earnheart had dandruff? They found his head and shoulders on the dash."

"My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home"

"I have beiber fever; every time i hear about him i get sick."

"I'd kill a two-year-old... ...to get with Casey Anthony"

"Walmart greeter smiled at me. Long story short, the weddings Friday. Everyone's invited. Except Harold. HE said I'd NEVER find true love."

"Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I'm 100% behind you."

"Neighbors having their yearly Xmas party. Not invited again. So don't tell me the screaming drunken outdoor fights don't pay off."

"It must really suck working for a calendar company You can't take any days off"

"""Serving size: half sandwich."" Really, ice-cream sandwich manufacturers? I know what you're doing. And I don't like it."