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Joke of the Day

"Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.. I should have put it on aloha setting."

"Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15? That's when the big hand touches the little hand."

"If you're having bow problems I feel bad for you son. I dodged 99 arrows but my knee took one."

"Is Lobster Bisque a good rap name?"

"My favorite quote. ""Deep down, every human being just wants to be remembered."" *anonymous*"

"On November 9th... Me: ""I guess President Hillary Clinton is with VP Tim Kaine now. And both feeling pretty high. You could say she's ....co-Kaine! Hahah!"" Wife: ""Trump won."" Me: ""Shit..."""

"What's the difference between batman and a black man? Batman can go into a store without robin."

"I've squirted this entire bottle of No More Tears shampoo in this babies face, he's still crying, babysitting is hard."

"I bet you've already heard this It's a pretty common word."

"What do you call a mound of dirt that is uneducated? A Hillbilly"