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Joke of the Day
"If you're having bow problems I feel bad for you son. I dodged 99 arrows but my knee took one."
Next Joke
"Why do you get arrested for walking into an army base unauthorised in the USA? Because Obama doesn't like anyone sneaking in his barracks."
"I told my comrades that the commissar is an idiot. I got 31 years gulag... 1 year for insulting a political officer, 30 years for revealing a state secret"
"Me: Which cup do you want? 2-year-old: That one! Me: Let's pick a different one. 2-year-old: No! *drinks milk from a shot glass*"
"What do you call a happy dolphin? Endorphin"
"The strongest person in a prison should be called mitochondria Because they are the powerhouse of the cell."
"Sex is a lot like chess. It takes practice to be good. You have to adapt quickly to your partner's moves. You're gonna sacrifice some horses"
"Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don't have them, you cry about it."
"I like my women as i like my whiskey... 10 years old and locked in a basement"
"Someone stole all the toilets from my local police station... The police have nothing to go on."