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Joke of the Day

"Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don't have to share."

"When your kid asks you (daddy is it time to go crazy?) you don't know what to say until you wife reply's (idk go ask you dad.) what do you say? My little joke"

"Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house but that fly is dead."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Aldo ! Aldo who ? Aldo anywhere with you !"

"My wife bought me Dunkin Donuts k-cups for my Keurig... Now, it's like I finally have an Indian in the Cupboard."

"I rear-ended a guy on the way to work today Rectum."

"Why does a tiger make such a good girlfriend? Because its not a cheetah."

"(Works better spoken) The seaman was asked what he was doing when he got out. He said when he got discharged he'd be buried in pussy."

"i hate workimg at the lightbulb factory!! evrey day i hav to thimk of good ideas so they can harvest the lightbulbs that apear abov my head"

"Yo mamma is so fat... That she literally ate my dick."