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Joke of the Day

"7y:why are you putting make up on? Me:to look nicer 7y:when does it start working?"

"What's the best way to kill a one-legged fox? You make him run across Canada..."

"I didn't get far in Mario. I thought the guy floating on the cloud was God so I just accepted it when he threw shit at me"

"Don't kiss me, I don't have the insulin for that. Tell me your diabetic jokes."

"Cease & desist to all of Reddit I've trademarked PLAGIARISM and seek to protect my trademark from infringement."

"French joke Why are the streets of France lined with trees? So the Germans can march in the shade."

"Somebody told me I need to give my new Smart Car a name. So I called it 'Octomom' because even though I can technically fit 8 people in there, it doesn't mean it's a good idea."

"Riley can be a little girl's name, it's not always a dog's name. If someone says Riley's been sick don't bring up euthanasia right away."

"I don't have Great Expectations for my son. But I got him the other 13 Dicken's Books."

"Why did the scuba diver drop out of graduate school? Because he was always below a C"