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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a redneck to give a dog a blowjob? Dip the dog's dick in ranch dressing."

"Did you know that 69 is now 96? With this worsening economy, it costs a lot more to eat out."

"What do white girls and Prime numbers have in common? They can't even.."

"So I just turned 21 and there is still no change in my eyesight... when do I get my adult supervision?"

"What do amputee bears and regular bears have in common? They both have four legs. (assuming the amputee is missing a different appendage)"

"Did you hear about the new machine that creates earthquakes? It was groundbreaking."

"My granma got my granpa a new pair of pants. When I asked him how they fit, he said, ""like a cheap castle"". When I looked confused, he explained, ""no ballroom"""

"Next time during church, stand up and ask your pastor ""Have you ever turned down heroin?"" Both Yes and No are equally entertaining answers."

"As a kid, I was always scared of the dentist. He was a pedophile. You wouldn't believe the fillings he gave me."

"Friend: I'm surprised to see you eating a salad. Me: *empties bag of chocolate chips over it*"