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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend and I like to roleplay She pretends to be a nurse while I pretend she exists."

"Why can't Java programmers see well? Because of the eclipse"

"Hillary Clinton says to the Devil, ""What happened? You promised me that I'd win the election?"" The Devil replies, ""Yeah, and you promised me a soul."""

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Divorce Barbie ...includes the house the car and half of Ken's belongings"

"Why wife accused me of being a transvestite. So I packed her things and left."

"What did the pig say when his wife left him? ""Don't go bacon my heart"""

"What do you call a tree that does not believe Jesus was the messiah? A Jew-niper"

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans Free. - [*Darren Walsh*](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34039927)"

"And the award for best neckwear goes to... Well, would you look at that... It's a tie."

"How do you turn a duck in to a soul singer? Put in the oven till it's Bill Withers."