1799

Joke of the Day

"Thanks to my recent change to a healthier lifestyle, I am no longer fat and ugly Now I'm just ugly"

"What keyboard shortcut do the elderly have the most trouble with? Ctrl+P"

"This is a Tylenol conversation. So you can Aleve."

"Leaving a chunky sneeze on my shower wall to test my cleaning lady. I fear I am a terrible king."

"It must be terribly disappointing to go through the trouble of blowing oneself up only to discover 72 twenty year olds playing Warcraft."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Doctor: I'll be with you in a minute."

"What do you call a gay date mixer? A meat-and-greet."

"I wanted to make a ""two drums and a cymbal fall off of a cliff"" joke, but um... ...tsh."

"I really lack the words to compliment myself today."

"Inside jokes are bitterly resented by the homeless."