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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a woman and a toilet? A toilet can become president."

"CNN: ""Chess grandmaster, 20, dies in parkour balcony fall"" Shoulda castled earlier."

"""I'm hungry. Except for anything you made. There's no way I'm eating that."" - Kids"

"I sustained a serious neck injury a few years ago... ...and I've never looked back."

"A cactus as a houseplant is a good way to let people know that you've killed every other living thing that you've ever been responsible for."

"Sorry kids, Santa isn't real. If he was, he'd be an obese pedophile, felon, and elf slave owner. Seriously though, Merry Christmas."

"A guy I know got hit in the head with a can of soda He was lucky it was a soft drink"

"Do you think anyone has ever superglued a pair of sunglasses to their face. Wow I hope so. The ultimate level of coolness"

"Where do Muslims go when they die? Everywhere"

"Why did the console gamer cross the street? To render the other side."