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Joke of the Day
"""If only she had a more expensive purse, THEN she'd be hot."" - no guy ever"
Next Joke
"What do you call a Scottish parrot ? A Macaw !"
"Have you heard the one about the ignorant proctologist? He didn't know shit."
"What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ? A little bear !"
"You know you're old when you get a ""You up?"" text.... And it's 8:25 p.m."
"One reason my boyfriend likes The Big Bang Theory so much is that he says the title always reminds him of when we f**k."
"Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last movie you watched."
"I told my kids I'd rather they ""pull the plug"" than let me live in a vegetative state dependent on machines. So they hid my phone charger."
"Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving."
"Really whenever I get up is ""too early."""