28619

Joke of the Day

"One reason my boyfriend likes The Big Bang Theory so much is that he says the title always reminds him of when we f**k."

"The best part of being a supervillain is the freedom to laugh maniacally at all times"

"I can speak 10 languages. English and Binary"

"2 Scottish cows in a field: which one is on holiday? The one with the wee calf."

"I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems"

"I told a friend of mine that me and other friends were talking about him behind his back. He told me, ""You disgust me."" And I said, ""Yes. Yes we did."""

"What lies on its back, 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede."

"When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5? Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad : I guess through its Beak"

"Mexicans are shocked about Trump's wall But they'll get over it"

"What did they call that ancient philosopher from China who quoted a lot about a woman's pussy? cuntfucius"