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Joke of the Day

"The worst part about being narcoleptic is that you constantly get interru"

"What's the big deal with the Dog Whisperer? My dog whispers all the time! ""Kill for me,"" he rasps."

"We decided to name our unborn child something that represents where it was conceived. Only 7 more months until baby Uber is born!"

"Chuck Norris is actually every member of Slipknot. That's how fast he can change costumes."

"If I knew then what I know now, I would have been a really creepy, sexually frustrated toddler."

"Wife:What is 10 years with me? Wife:What is 10 years with me? Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me? Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second"

"Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill."

"Why can't anybody satisfy a woman completely? Question: ""why can't anybody satisfy a woman completely?"" answer: ""because nobody has a dick made of gold, decorated with diamonds and ejaculates cash"""

"I think it's kinda gross to have sex in bed After all it's where I eat"

"Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back."