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Joke of the Day
"If I knew then what I know now, I would have been a really creepy, sexually frustrated toddler."
Next Joke
"Armless Alice Q. Why did Alice fall off the swing? A. Because she has no arms. Q. Knock knock? *who's there?* A. Not Alice..."
"If you see a man running down the street tonight, blowing a whistle & wearing a life guard shirt...don't worry, I'm just chasing my dream."
"Did you hear about the policeman who arrested the two boys, one who had a battery in possession and the other a firework? He charged one and let the other off."
"A shark can sense a drop of blood from 3 miles away, and a mom can sense you're not getting enough to eat from 10,000."
"Strange that the people who make duck face in photos are the same ones who always refuse to eat bread"
"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Poison the fish, he'll eat for a lifetime."
"Think women are the weaker sex? Try pulling the blankets back to your side."
"How do you tell if a girl in Nebraska is a virgin? She can outrun her brothers... *mic drop* ""I'm out..."""
"What's the funny thing about child pornography? The absence of cast and credits at the end. Doug Stanhope"