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Joke of the Day

"Macklemore was pretty far ahead of me in terms of self-awareness. When I was in the third grade I literally thought I might be a thundercat."

"How many people with ADHD does it take to change a - oh look, tree!"

"Drove a wedge of suspicion today between the fast food employee at the first window and the one at the second."

"Wife: Let's get my mom a special gift; one that will make her lose her mind! Me: How about a guillotine? Wife: Me: I'll be on the couch."

"Volkswagen How many Jews Can you fit in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 6 million in the ashtray"

"Why did Arthur have a round table ? So no one could corner him !"

"What is the difference between a Chicken and a Prostitute? The Chicken says ""Cockadoodaldoo"" The Prostitute says ""Any COCK will do"""

"The other day my friend was telling me I didn't know what irony meant... Which is ironic because we were standing at a bus stop."

"Happy International Women's Day! Or as I like to call it, Taco Tuesday"

"Did you hear about the cannibal who was late to dinner? Yeah, he got the cold shoulder."