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Joke of the Day

"Hang up weed instead of mistletoe, then every time you stand under it you can have a snack."

"A concept so foreign, Angelina Jolie tries to adopt it."

"Man walks into bar. Says ""Ouch!"""

"What's a bicyclists favorite letter? A! (hands raised up)"

"Whats the ISIS members' astrological sign? Sad terrorist"

"I have two problems in my life. My math sucks."

"A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And then a staircase. I don't think hes alright, can someone get a doctor?"

"Sorry I can't go out. My phone is too old to hold enough charge so I live by this outlet now."

"Hey guys quick question. Uh I'm in K-Mart right now, which aisle would be the best for me to lie down and die in?"

"TIFU by not reading War and Peace. This wasn't today, this was ever. That book is way too long. I didn't read it. TL:DR Too Long. Didn't Read."