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Joke of the Day

"Man walks into bar. Says ""Ouch!"""

"Egotist: A person who is usually me-deep in conversation."

"What's the best way to stop a German train? *Axe* them nicely."

"Honey, you know the part in The 6th Sense when she drops his wedding ring & you realize he's been dead the whole time? Well I want a divorce"

"I made my 4-year-old sit at the table till she finished her lunch It took her 3 hours She was so excited to be done Then I served dinner."

"I might not be the ""best"" father in the world, but I'm also bad with money & know how to beat a polygraph."

"I told I girl I'm going to rape her... she took it pretty well."

"I'm not saying the police are over zealous but I was arrested yesterday for singing ""come on baby light my fire."" They said it was inflammatory."

"Everyone wants a white Christmas... but all Christmases matter!!!"

"What do you call a cow with no nipples? Udderly pointless"