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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I can't go out. My phone is too old to hold enough charge so I live by this outlet now."

"What's the best thing about bee's? It's knees."

"Money doesn't grow on trees. Your move, multinational agricultural biotechnology corporations."

"A philosopher goes to a hotel. Philosopher: Can I get a room please? Receptionist: Sure. Which one? 2B or not 2B?"

"Election One-Liner Looks like the Democrats were holding strong in the Midwest until the republicans got off work.."

"Patient: Doctor you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I JUST DID DIDN'T I YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!"

"How many cow-lories does a cheeseburger have? Moo many..."

"What did the CPU say to the RAM? Sorry to cache you out but I want the data closer. The RAM replied: you're right, ""life"" is too short."

"Since I live my financial life under water I decided to put a ""Beware of sharks"" sign in my front yard."

"What did the zombie body builder say? GAINSSS!!!"