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Joke of the Day

"The way I react when my alarm clock goes off can best be described as ""17-year-old girl being denied a curfew extension."""

"If you see someone over the age of 9 wearing sweatpants, pull them aside & say ""Friend, you're wearing sweatpants."" They might not know."

"Ants can lift something 50 times their body weight. Wow. That means you can lift a leaf. Cool. I could do that when I was 14. Tiny idiots."

"We save a lot of money on Halloween costumes by having naturally ugly children."

"What do the police hate most? Blackmale"

"What happens when you play a country song backwards? He finds his dog, his truck gets fixed, and his woman comes home."

"What do you call a naked skateboarder? A scab."

"You can't get AIDS from a toilet seat unless you sit down before the other guy gets up"

"What's black and white and red all over? An emo kid with a razor."

"A guy had 6.023*10^23 bruises in his body... Experts are saying he got molested."