17907

Joke of the Day

"What's the hardest part about dumping a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it."

"Wife: He's your son! Me: So you say! But I don't... *Kid dances across the room to the Benny Hill theme song* Me: ...ok fine he's my son."

"My ceiling fan has 3 settings: 1. Very slow 2. Slow 3. I'm about to detach from the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident"

"My dog has figured out I'm Chinese. He totally tried to make a run for it. Silly dog, I'm not going to eat you until I train a replacement."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Saddam. Saddam who? *Seen*"

"The Food Pyramid http://imgur.com/hugGqpi"

"Women Q: What do you call a woman without an @sshole? A: Divorced"

"I'm so lonely I bought a plane ticket just for the airport pat down."

"What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky."

"Is it fair to say... There'd be less litter in the world if blind people were given pointed sticks?"