179061

Joke of the Day

"I hate it when people don't behave the way I thought they would when I rehearsed the conversation in my head."

"How do you confuse a gay person? Seven"

"Its going down, basement. Friday the 13th guess whos playing Jason? Tuck yourself in you better hold on to your teddy. Its Nightmare on Elm street and guess whos playing Freddy?"

"A cop pulled me over and said ""papers"". I said, ""scissors, I win"" and drove off."

"My daughter called Neapolitan ice cream ""three-way"" ice cream & I'm not sure I'll correct her cuz I'm a horrible person & it makes me laugh."

"Yo Mama so Old... She pre-ordered the BIble!"

"How ironic is it... to die in the living room?"

"""C'mon, your relationship isn't *that* serious."" - Las Vegas"

"When a roofer works pro bono... It's on the house"

"I'm going to open a summer camp for kids with ADD And call it 'The Concentration Camp'"