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Joke of the Day
"""C'mon, your relationship isn't *that* serious."" - Las Vegas"
Next Joke
"So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back... Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient."
"In a way, Han Solo was a bit like a modern Icarus. They both got too close to the son."
"I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi"
"According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me."
"I'm glad I'll never know the pressure a black guy has when ""shooting"" garbage into the waste basket."
"Throw shit at a person, you are their enemy. Throw shit at a plant, you are their hero. source: r/Showerthoughts/"
"How do you make cottage cheese? You shake a baby."
"Any day now Trump and Pence are going to pull off their masks and reveal that they're Kang and Kodos from The Simpsons"
"Eliza Bayne on Bikini Dangers Probably the worst thing you can hear when you're wearing a bikini is ""Good for you!"""