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Joke of the Day

"Before my surgery, the anesthetist offered to use knockout gas or whack me over the head with a canoe paddle. It was an ether/oar situation."

"On the 5th day, god was hungover & didn't feel up to much so he created worms, shoelaces & spaghetti, then punched out just after 1pm."

"Man goes to a burger stand and asks for an Oasis burger The vendor asks what an Oasis burger is. You get a roll with it."

"What's a young monkey's favorite time of the school day? Rhesus."

"What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs."

"Not sure why, but even when I shower alone, I still get a little nervous when I drop the soap."

"The music of life needs more cowbell."

"Knock knock Who's there? The pastor The pastor who? Open the fucking door goddamit, there's a crazy white man with a gun, let me out!"

"I slept with a pharmacist who could come in 10 seconds... Problem is, it took her 30 minutes to count to 10 (Made this up last night while waiting 30 minutes for 10 pills)"

"How does a French lady hold her liquor? By the ears"