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Joke of the Day

"Before my surgery, the anesthetist offered to use knockout gas or whack me over the head with a canoe paddle. It was an ether/oar situation."

"Do old men wear boxers or briefs? Depends."

"What did Eric Garner's wife say to him? Would it kill you to go sell a few cigarettes? too soon?"

"Saw a tweet about foods to help your sex life. I need sex to help my sex life, not food."

"Why are conspiracy theorists always fat? They believe the proof is in the pudding."

"A man stopped breathing today at a bar... A lady then screamed out ""ANYBODY KNOW CPR"" I yelled back. ""I know the whole damm alphabet!"" Everyone Laughed... Well except 1 guy..."

"Short self made joke, pretty offensive. Did you hear about the cannibal who is a vegetarian? Yea, he only eats vegetables."

"Some small people that I don't know think I'm strange To me they're a little stranger"

"what does a programmer and a photo have in common? They develop better in the dark"

"some jokes in a song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=cMU-eLxIRj8#!"