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Joke of the Day

"Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the nearest Shell Station!"

"Had I known you were coming I would have baked a cake. Instead you get to watch me decapitate an iguana. You should call ahead."

"Why do midgets laugh when they run in fields? Because the grass tickles their balls"

"A crowd of theater fanatics walk into a bar. They go to the bartender and say, ""One round please."" ""A round of what?"" The bartender asks. ""A round of *applause*!"" They all scream in unison."

"Why is Florida not an island?? Because Georgia sucks..."

"Did you hear about the hipster compound? It's ionic."

"How can you lose around 10 pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head."

"eer booze and fun!' 'What happened when the barman died? The police held an inn-quest"

"My problem is I take things too literally. Like when my wife said she'd give an arm and a leg to lose weight."

"What do clouds wear during a storm? Thunderwear"