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Joke of the Day

"The cat is heat and keeps presenting herself to the dog I'm just sitting here with my finger hovering above the record button."

"Not sure if I actually like movies or just like looking at something while I eat popcorn."

"If I ever run into Captian Crunch, I'm gonna punch him in the roof of his mouth."

"I now know I drink too much. I walked out on my deck and swear I heard a mosquito yell out to his all his friends that the bar just opened."

"Recent documents have shown Mussolini was one of biofuels' first advocates, using them extensively in Italy, even for public transport He made the trains run on thyme"

"""Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern."" ~ Me at McDonald's on pay day."

"I took a Viagra earlier and it got stuck in my throat... I've had a stiff neck for hours."

"I told my friend that Dracula and I had sex with my 12 inch penis. He refused to believe me... I said, ""I know it's hard to believe, it's a lot to take into a Count."""

"What do black men do after sex.... 15 years to life!"

"*turns down the lights* Girl this is going to be a magical night *dumps legos on bed* ok first we need to separate these by color"