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Joke of the Day

"Jesus was on his way from heaven to Earth for the Second Coming, but his car broke down along the way. He was driving a Chrysler."

"If Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders were stuck on an island, who would survive? America"

"Redditors screaming REPOST!! at everything are like grandparents. Just that they don't even seem to *like* the 'good old days'."

"I'd like to say that ALL quilts are great... ...but I try to avoid making blanket statements."

"[boardroom] ""Now hear me out. They're Teenage.."" Ok ""Mutant.."" I like where this is going ""Ninja.."" Noun me, Graham! ""Turtles"" You're fired"

"Why is diarrhea hereditary? Because it runs in your genes!"

"I want to know the backstory of when an eyelash turns evil and says ""That's it. I'm done protecting the eye. I'm going in to destroy it now"""

"What happens to a person when they move out of Asia? They become dis-oriented!"

"I like my women how I like my coffee Not breathing ( )"

"What does CPA stand for? Can't Produce Anything"