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Joke of the Day

"Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending? Because they needed to be ad-dressed! "

"What Will Mexico's National Sport Become if Trump Is Elected? Pole Vaulting"

"So I was fingering my sister the other day. She said ""wow you do it just like dad!"" I replied ""thats what mom said"" then I found my brothers wedding ring."

"Tried to pick a booger off my phone screen. Ended up calling my mom, signing up for AOL and getting an online degree in refrigerator repair"

"I went to the library today I said: do you have any books on suicide? She said: we did, but no one brings them back"

"My dog reminds me of my ex. She doesn't pull her weight financially and she's scared of the vacuum."

"""Everything the light touches is ours,"" I tell my son while opening the fridge."

"Whenever I go for a jog and it's raining, I like to pretend that someone killed my family and I have to get strong and avenge their death."

"""Stationary shop moves""....."

"Someone asked Donald Trump for his position on women's rights. He said Doggy style"