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Joke of the Day

"Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending? Because they needed to be ad-dressed! "

"i still remember the disappointment when i learned that ""diuretic"" doesn't mean ""gives you diarrhea."" (it was 20 minutes ago)"

"What do goats do to get off? They pasturebate"

"As the programmer was going to the store his wife called out We need a quart of milk and if they have eggs bring me back a dozen. He returns with 3 gallons of milk and says: ""They had eggs."""

"The cashier at the local grocery store asked me if i wanted to donate 2$ to end world hunger, i was like HELL YEAH! I had no idea we were this close! I'm gonna be a god damn hero! Joke by Matt Donaher"

"Did you hear Donald Trump wants to ban pre-shredded cheese? Apparently a bunch of immigrants work in the Kraft factory."

"What did the blind, innocent, sweet, paraplegic 7 year old boy get for his birthday? Cancer."

"Just because we have the same last name doesn't mean we have to be Facebook friends, Dad."

"My circumcision left me quite sore. I couldn't walk for two whole years!"

"Mobile tweeting with 3% battery is a lot like the band playing while the titanic sank"