178407

Joke of the Day

"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards."

"What do you get when you merge Revenge with Grey's Anatomy? Graysonatomy."

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day Don't teach a man to fish and feed yourself. He's a grown man. And fishing's not that hard."

"Why did Subway take Jared so seriously? It was obvious he was kidding."

"Did you hear Seinfeld on political correctness? He really went on the offensive about it."

"Ex-girlfriend I used to date this girl with a lazy eye...it turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time."

"To all you single ladies out there, as winter slowly approaches I am offering you a good high quality man blanket for this winter. Claim me now while supplies last. . ."

"Knock knock -Who's there? 9/11 -9/11 who? I thought you said you'd never forget."

"How to catch an elephant Dig a hole big enough for an elephant. Fill it with loose ash and cover it with frozen peas as bait. Then when he comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash-hole."

"Probably a good thing I'm not a ghost cause I'd just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food."