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Joke of the Day

"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards."

"I was laying on my SO's chest and commented on how comfortable it was... And she hits me with a ""It's like it's MAMMorey foam!"" line. I was quite impressed."

"Why can't Keanu Reeves eat his soup? There is no spoon"

"The most terrifying sentence in the world. ""I'm from the government, and I'm here to help."" -RR"

"When a Nokia phone warns you about low battery, you have at least 1 month to find where the charger is lying in your house."

"The problem with today's children is that today's parents are idiots."

"What was Prince's greatest ""Hit?"" Purple Vein"

"Why did the boy throw the butter out the window? to see the butterFLY!"

"I'm so horny the crack of dawn better be careful around me"

"[spelling bee] Your word is 'arrogance' ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Of course I can, don't be stupid"