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Joke of the Day

"How to catch an elephant Dig a hole big enough for an elephant. Fill it with loose ash and cover it with frozen peas as bait. Then when he comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash-hole."

"I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come... Then there was awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"I want to grab some Mexican tonight and then maybe have some dinner with him"

"why cant you hear a pterodactyl go pee? Dinosaurs are extinct"

"Why do cowboys prefer wienie dogs? So they can get a long little doggie."

"What do you call an epileptic cow? Beef jerky"

"""Keith Moon was Nuts"" Another insightful nugget of trivia from Opie. Oh you means the rock drummer that put fish and explosives in his drums was ""nuts""?"

"You scream, we all scream, I apologize for entering the womens bathroom."

"Life got you down? Just remember that you will never be as confused and sad as the friends and relatives of the world's first clown."

"What did the depressed light switch say? I can't go on."